Mother

This month I am dedicating my thoughts to my elderly mother who has not been in good health. Despite her suffering from osteoprosis, diabetes and high blood pressure and well as loneliness of old age, she is positive. Love and marriage have separated us. I remember on the day my husband and I got married, her advice to me was.."Look after him". Did I think of looking after her at that time? No..I was madly in love and want to be with my English husband.
She lives in a tropical island of Borneo, surrounded by my other siblings, while, I am here in England, thousands of miles away. As a dutiful daughter, my relationship with her is strong, even stronger despite the fact that we see each other maybe two or three times a year. At this stage in life, I am preoccupied with the thoughts of old age, death and life.
I miss her dearly....

A Poem for you..

A Mother to her Waking Infant

Now in thy dazzling half-oped eye,

Thy curled nose and lip awry

Thy up-hoist arms and noddling head,

And little chin with chrystal spread,

Poor helpless thing! what do I see,

That I should sing of thee?

From thy poor tongue no accents come,

Which can but rub thy toothless gum;

Small understanding boasts thy face,

Thy shapeless limbs nor step nor grace;

A few short words thy feats may tell,

And yet I love thee well.

When sudden wakes the bitter shriek,

And redder swells thy little cheek;

When rattled keys thy woes beguile,

And through the wet eye gleams the smile,

Still for thy weakly self is spent

Thy little silly plaint.

.......

Perhaps when time shall add a few

Short years to thee, thou'lt love me too,

Then wilt thou through life's weary way

Become my sure and cheering stay:

Wilt care for me, and be my hold,

When I am weak and old.

Thou'lt listen to my lengthened tale,

And pity me when I am frail -

But see, the sweepy spinning fly

Upon the window takes thine eye.

Go to thy little senseless play-

Thou dost not heed my lay.

Joanna Baillie

(1762-1851)

beginning of the new year

Beloved Mother and The moon...

Oh my beloved Mother

I feel close to you

yet I am very far

I remember in your sweet voice you told me about the moon

How it shines the world

how an owl cries

how an owl feels lonely being far away from it

Beloved Mother,

The moon shines here now

in this cold winter night

the pleasant noise of people

the rumble of the London buses,

the gurgle of dieseled taxis

there is no owl

there is a quiet moon

but my heart is warm for your love

I feel close to you my beloved Mother

yet I am very far

I want to touch and kiss your hand

the hands which helped me to walk

I want to hug and give you my warmest love

yet I am very far

Your spirits are all with your children

where are they?

my own and others are still the same?

I am sure you know

my spirits are with you

Where are you now my beloved Mother?

on your bed you lie

on your wheel-chair you sit

in the bliss of solitude

your gentle breathings

This cold winter night

the moon is shining

there is no owl, Mother

You are in me

round me

every where

to be beloved

and

whom I love, my beloved Mother

Oh my beloved Mother

I want to wish you

a happy new year!!

the beginning of year 2009...

Hello 2009, goodbye 2008!



The day when new year comes in and the old year goes out has never changed as far as we human being can remember - the last day and night of the month of December



Hello new year!

We wish friends, members of families, strangers, people in the street and everyone we meet - happy new year!!! Hope 2009 is going to be a good year for you and family!.

Hold on..have I said good bye to the old year? Good bye 2008, let you rest in peace..



My husband and I walked along Westbourne Grove, in Central London after our evening meal on 31st December. We refused to attend many celebrations and the new year parties with firiends and their friends. With my thick overcoat, hat and gloves on, going out in the evening in cold winter is quite a refreshing exercise before going to bed. It was not that very cold afterall. When I looked up amongst the tall old buildings I saw a glimpse of the almost full moon. My heart leapt. Oh what a joy to see such nature. The moon is still in one piece and not very full yet, I thought. I walked in steady pace on the uneven concrete pavement but suddenly it disappeared in the thick night quite rapidly. Now and then, I looked down on the uneven concrete pavement as I made my steps. After 50 metres away from one of the many blocks if buildings, I looked up into the sky and the moon has disappeared. It was hidding behind a new all glass building which used to be a church. Instantly my thoughts...

were with the unfortunate
... people who have been made redundant who cant afford to pay their mortgage that the authorities have kicked them out of their houses,
...people who have lost their jobs, parents who cannot afford to pay their children school fees any longer,
...people who have to think twice spending their money,
...elderly and pensioners who cannot afford to heat their homes and live in very cold condition;
...children and babies being killed by their parents and carers,
...children, women and men who were caught up and killed in the throwing of weapon of mass destructions of two parties who try to wipe each other out of this planet,

an endless list.....

"let's go home" I said to my husband.

We headed towards our Victorian house which is about three streets away from where we were..along Portobello Road. The house was built in 1840s...where I am sure the previous occupants must have gone through recessions..losing their jobs, losing their partners, losing their children, losing their parents, thinking twice about spending their money, in their old age couldnot afford to heat the house, going through World War One, WW Two, Cold War, and have heard and seen..war after war in the Middle East....

Welcome 2009..I am stepping into this new year with full of good expectations!!







a pilot has been hailed as a hero..all passengers have survived...